Years ago, I was talking with someone in a difficult marriage. Thankfully, it wasn’t my wife. I’m going to leave out their gender because it could happen with either the husband or the wife. One of the challenges they faced was that their spouse was surprisingly lazy. Even though they both worked full time, one of them helped very little with the household responsibilities. Worse than that, they would tell other people they were overwhelmed by how much they did around the house, giving the impression that their spouse was the lazy one!
How frustrated would you be in that situation? Perhaps you’re already in it and can speak firsthand. I’m sorry if that’s the case. I asked the person I was speaking with how they were handling it. It had already gone on for several months, with no end in sight. Their reply was a breath of fresh air: “I’ll keep serving my spouse whether or not they acknowledge what they’re doing.”
In short, they were committed to fully pleasing and obeying the Lord by being a servant like Jesus (see Philippians 2). Not a part-time servant on a short-term assignment. A genuine servant in the pattern Jesus set out for His people. Now, if the first thing(s) that come to your mind are objections (e.g., “I’m not a doormat!” or “You don’t know my spouse…”) then check your heart to be sure it’s aligned with the Lord’s. Following in Jesus’ footsteps is part of God’s design for a holy and happy marriage. Is it easy? Of course not; we’re sinners! Is it worth it? Absolutely.
Tragically, there are too many Christian marriages failing to reflect the intimacy of Christ and His bride, the church. Fighting against selfishness takes relentless yielding to the Holy Spirit. But imagine if either the husband or the wife was fully committed to being a servant to their spouse, even when unreciprocated. Wouldn’t many more marriages move in that joyful direction? May the Lord grant us His grace as we strive to obey Him in this!
For His glory,
Bill Bertsche
Executive Pastor
