Responding to Family Violence in a Community of Faith

Thank you for all those participated in this event. It was wonderful to have the faith community come together in addressing family violence. We plan to have a similar conference in the Spring of 2013. More details abotu this conference and how to order cd recording of plenary sessions and workshops will soon be posted. 

Belief Statement

WHAT WE BELIEVE

What Is Family Violence?

Family violence encompasses intergenerational aspects of abuse, which can be in various forms, such as domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, or elder abuse. Abuse is about POWER and CONTROL. It can be displayed in actions that bring emotional, sexual, physical, psychological, financial, and spiritual harm. Abuse is sin accompanied by the spiritual consequences of pain, fear, silence, and isolation. Instead of the family being a sanctuary, it is composed of multiple members that are hurt and in turn spiritually, emotionally, and physically wounding each other. 

God’s portrayal of His marriage to Israel was an eternal betrothal based in His righteousness, justice, steadfast love, and mercy (Hosea 2:19). God demonstrates how marriage is to be a place of faithfulness, protection, and nurturance. Sadly for many, marriages have become battlefields as compared to partnerships. Words and action create further injury to body, mind, and soul.  

In addition, children translate what they see, hear, touch, and feel as to how they view the world.  These early life experiences are pathways for cognitive, emotional, social, and moral development.  Children who experience and are exposed to violence are overwhelmed by their feelings of shame, fear, and guilt. They in turn may feel responsible for the violence around them but limited in their abilities to talk and sort out their experiences. 

Abuse does not only affect the family, but also the surrounding community.  This specific form of violence is a violation of the dignity and rights of the abused in the physical, moral, and legal realms. There needs to be a crying out of Psalm 30:2 “O LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you have healed me.”

What Is Our Theological Imperative?

God clearly states that abuse is sin. He also holds us accountable when we have sinned in our personal relationships:

• Matthew 18:5-6 – “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”                                                                   
• Psalm 11:5 – “The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
• Deuteronomy 22:25-26 – “But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death. For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor,”

It is our theological imperative to bring voice and accountability to the matter of family violence. Micah 6:8 states, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”  

As a church, truth is spoken from the pulpit; Scripture is used to edify; and response to abuse, whether current or past, occurs in a sensitive manner.  Due to our belief in God’s redemptive grace, we as believers demonstrate love and truth in addressing issues with hope.  Our faith in Christ holds that no one is beyond God’s redemptive grace, both for the abused and the abuser.  Essentially, God’s grace is for broken individuals.

We as believers extend mercy, grace, and compassion to those who are hurting.  Scripture is used to guide conversations, but not to re-victimize the one who is hurting. Safety of the injured party is imperative. In fact, ensuring the safety of the victim is a vital response in protecting the marriage. It is imperative for the abused to feel heard. It is also necessary that the one who has abused takes responsibility for own actions and receive accountability so that necessary change occurs. It is taking the time to respond to the injuries of the soul for both partners. It cannot be rushed and is dependent on God’s working of confessing and change to transform this marriage.  

It is important to recognize that women can be abusive to their partners. At this conference we are primarily looking at intimate partner violence where the woman is being abused due to the majority of reported cases being from women where there is a higher extent of physical harm and financial control.   

How Do We Act on This Belief?

As a community, we are encouraging our families to raise our sons to know right from wrong, and our daughters to stand and believe in their worth.  We strive for our homes, families, and churches to be safe, real, and genuine places.  Our actions are intentional in preparing the next generation to live out their faith.  The issue of abuse must not be ignored or minimized by congregations of faith.  Forgiveness is not discussed in order to force a false sense of reconciliation, but in order to give the act to God for healing.

We also are a light to our surrounding community where we challenge the world’s view of worth and build relationships to impact change. Whether one works within the faith community or in a secular agency, our faith informs us of who we are and the dignity of others made in God’s image.  It is not just about the Christian community accessing secular resources, but developing partnerships where secular agencies understand the importance of faith in expressing compassion and grace to a family in crisis.

We believe God is a God of Justice and a God of Mercy. He gives us healing as the Great Physician to receive His grace and His forgiveness. It is through His grace that the power of God’s justice works.